Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Thesis- Political Unrest in Thailand

The political unrest in Thailand reshapes with the changes in leadership of the government; moreover, as the government modernizes, its values will continue to change, which will ultimately suppress the peoples' voice in government; furthermore, this dilemma geopolitically affects the international community and it continues to evolve as the citizens of Thailand go to further extremes to resist the oppressiveness of the government.

3 comments:

  1. This is a very good thesis. I am just unsure if moreover was the right word to use there. Overall, good job.

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  2. This is a really good thesis, but try to eliminate all of the be verbs.

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  3. As directed, you've tried to fit a lot into your thesis. However, even with the semi-colons this is a run-on sentence. You need to consolidate these ideas into a more concise, focused sentence. As mentioned above, eliminating the "to be" verbs will greatly help.

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